The kitchen is empty tonight. The house is quiet. I, the writer, sits behind my glass table acknowledging the darkness as it greets me at its usual time. i've been creating my resume lately, needless to say, it's taken a while. From jobs, to trips, to adventures, to tools, it all has to be placed on these sheets of paper. To be able to do this I had to visit many moments in my life. While doing so, I found a love story, go figure, a hopeless romantic like myself finding such a jewel...
If one could place a lable on the stereotypical midwest couple, the writer found one. There was a town, in the middle of the USA, it's population around 200, however, it did include a school. Though the school was small, the youth group in the local church was alive and healthy. There was a guy, and naturally a girl that were in this group. While the specifics are fuzzy, allow one to know this, they were best friends. Time and time again through the summers they could be found at the local church camp, they were also spotted twice in the ozark city of Branson, they climbed the mountains of Colorado, enjoyed the arch of St. Louis, and even went to the same school. Through the years, starting in high school one comes to believe they began the American "dating process". While couples around them bloomed and died, theirs stayed strong. When they graduated the true struggle began. One headed to the ozarks for college, another headed to the northern tier of Iowa. For four years each they were in school, still dating, though it was difficult, they never lost sight of each other, they never lost the love towards each other, they both realized God had them both in His hands. A few years into college and the big news had finally taken to the world. They were engaged. Soon afterwards they were married, and to this day they are still in love as they were in day one that they met in the little town in Northern Missouri, surrounded by corn and cattle.
The perfect story.
While one has come to the conclusion that thoughs are far and few between everyone should take joy in seeing the things deemed "impossible" become a reality.
Maybe this resume won't be that bad after all...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Dramatic Love...and a sandwich
Drama. Though the word makes us cringe when it applies to our own life, when we see it in the lives of others we term it as “entertainment”. I, the writer, must admit that drama has come in many forms for myself, both personally, and through other forms, or people. I was thinking about the drama of people my age, what causes, what motivates it, and I’ve come to understand the as fire survives off of oxygen, drama lives solely off of human emotions, and like that…the mind begins to wonder…
I find it fascinating that you can learn so much as nothing more then just a sandwich shop of your local town. You open the door and you are quickly immersed in smell of yeast, cheese, wheat, and rye. The music is soft, the conversations light and hearty, and there is always at least one extra plug-in for your own laptop.
I ordered my sandwich, grabbed my drink, and went to sit down. While I prefer to sit alone, away from people, so that I can watch, this day I had no choice but to sit next to other people. It was Sunday, lunch, I’m in the “bible belt” of the United States, needless to say the place was swamped. As I started to write my thoughts, and my homework assignments, someone, a man, must have seen my concentration and found it amusing to say the least. He came over and said, “You must be quite the writer, any faster and you might break your own keyboard.” I looked up at the random comment from a strange man. I have come to learn in the place I am now located in the United States, which random comments from random people are not uncommon and it best to be polite and engage in the conversation.
“Please, have a seat.” I said as I closed my computer for the moment. “Sorry, but I write, it’s what I do, this is my relaxing day of the week so I can just release.”
The man, probably mid-twenties, chuckled, “You’ve got a lot on your mind, interesting, what might it be?”
“I’m just unwinding from reality, that’s all.”
The man replied, “I completely understand, everyone needs those moments, Lord knows I need one right now.”
I could smell a possible story coming, or it was my Sierra Turkey sandwich that was nearly done, either way I inquired him about what is eating at him.
He took a deep breath, “Welp, I am finding myself in an interesting state of life. About a year ago I was dumped. It was one of those nasty breakups you here about. I was very upset with how everything went. A few months afterwards, translation, a year, a new person came into my life. She’s great man. She’s crazy as can be, quite the wild trip, but she’s great.”
While he was sharing this story, I was greatly wrapped into it. It’s a romance story for goodness sake, it’s what I live for I’ve realized. At the same time I had to interrupt, “Life goes like that though, doesn’t it? We win some, lose some, some terrible loses, but we have tomorrow.”
“You’re right, couldn’t agree more, but that’s only when life works perfectly. You see man, about a month ago I got this letter, it was from the girl that dumped me. While it wasn’t a “I miss you, I’m sorry for my mistake”, it was still a letter wishing me luck with life, and hoping all is well, and a small apology for breaking my heart. That’s strange in my book. I’m not sure how to handle that. Here is where I’m running into this problem. The woman I’m with right now…amazing. She’s a complete nut in the cutest way possible, and she warned me over and over that she has moments when she wants to just be alone. She comes with a lot of extra baggage, a lot. There have even been problems between us. Lately she’s been under quite a bit of stress with her job, because of that she has a tendency to close up a bit. It’s hard because I want to smother her with kindness, telling her that she’s great, etc…but I know I need to hold back. So I’m holding back from her at the moment, just letting her regain her footing in life. To add to that I’m terrified to write back to that other girl.”
“Why? Wasn’t she just trying to be kind?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m sure she was. I really like the girl I’m with, for some reason I really enjoy her, constantly. I’m so scared that if I engage in this other girl that something will trigger in me, not her, I’m sure she hasn’t over thought this one bit, but a trigger in me to where I will think, ‘perhaps she’s sending me a message that really she misses me’. I don’t want that dude, I want to be happy with my life at the moment and not stressed about that.”
“Hmmm…you know, we, males, run solely off emotions. So when there are two women in our lives that are pulling us in different directions, yeah it can get stressful. Tell me man, where are your priorities? Why are you even worried about the girl from the past, she’s just that, from the past? “
“I’m scared of making mistakes, I’m scared of screwing something wonderful up. I know my girlfriend is worried about this letter, even though she says otherwise, you can see it in her eyes.”
“Does she have reason to worry?”
“NO! Not at all. I was with that other girl for quite some time. It was great, I learned many things, I even relaxed in life. It obviously wasn’t it though. I thought that perhaps we just needed time apart, but you know…it was more then that, we weren’t it. Man, remember this, when you’ve been with someone for that long, it takes a long time to heal from all of the scars. I’m still healing. With that said though, there is a girl at work right now. Striving to make something of herself. Working hard, she may not enjoy it, but she works hard. And you know what? She likes me, for me, she knows I’m screwed up, she understands that, she accepts that. She’s like the perfect blend of a best friend, and someone to love. I know she doesn’t always believe it, but I’m going to continue to tell her till the day I die, she…is…worth…it…all. She’s worth the silence, the self-discipline, she’s worth the work. I want to work for it. I want to work for her. She needs to be shown that for a change in her life, there is a person who thinks she’s amazing, and even though life isn’t peachy, he is not going to leave her.”
I’ve come to understand that words only mean so much, and I wish that those reading this, could of seen his eyes. They were full of life, you know, that father who sees his sons coach making fun of him, or not playing him, you know that look in the eye? That’s what this man had. I can tell you hands down that if he had to, he’d lay down his life for the girl, in the most extreme circumstances, but that is how much he cared. After listening, I replied, “Dude, you love this girl. I don’t know you, but saying your words are true, you having an undying love for this girl. She knows it, don’t worry. If you love her, which I believe you do, just let the heart be patient, and by all means, feel free to pray.”
“[Insert Name], your order is ready!” The lady cried over the intercom to break the silence.
“I’ll let you get to your lunch sir, thanks for listening, and the input. I’m going to remember that.”
“Have a good day, as I shook his hand walking to the counter for my sandwich.”
“That”, I thought to myself, “is drama, having to come face to face with your own emotions, and trying to figure out what do. It was obvious that this man had made the mistake of allowing his past get the best of him. However, with that said, there is nothing more comforting then to see how much people can love one another. I wish him luck, who knows where his life will take him.”
How far will you go? How far would I go? What would you do if faced with that dilemma? Is that drama, or just a bad run with cards? Better yet, was the story even real?
I find it fascinating that you can learn so much as nothing more then just a sandwich shop of your local town. You open the door and you are quickly immersed in smell of yeast, cheese, wheat, and rye. The music is soft, the conversations light and hearty, and there is always at least one extra plug-in for your own laptop.
I ordered my sandwich, grabbed my drink, and went to sit down. While I prefer to sit alone, away from people, so that I can watch, this day I had no choice but to sit next to other people. It was Sunday, lunch, I’m in the “bible belt” of the United States, needless to say the place was swamped. As I started to write my thoughts, and my homework assignments, someone, a man, must have seen my concentration and found it amusing to say the least. He came over and said, “You must be quite the writer, any faster and you might break your own keyboard.” I looked up at the random comment from a strange man. I have come to learn in the place I am now located in the United States, which random comments from random people are not uncommon and it best to be polite and engage in the conversation.
“Please, have a seat.” I said as I closed my computer for the moment. “Sorry, but I write, it’s what I do, this is my relaxing day of the week so I can just release.”
The man, probably mid-twenties, chuckled, “You’ve got a lot on your mind, interesting, what might it be?”
“I’m just unwinding from reality, that’s all.”
The man replied, “I completely understand, everyone needs those moments, Lord knows I need one right now.”
I could smell a possible story coming, or it was my Sierra Turkey sandwich that was nearly done, either way I inquired him about what is eating at him.
He took a deep breath, “Welp, I am finding myself in an interesting state of life. About a year ago I was dumped. It was one of those nasty breakups you here about. I was very upset with how everything went. A few months afterwards, translation, a year, a new person came into my life. She’s great man. She’s crazy as can be, quite the wild trip, but she’s great.”
While he was sharing this story, I was greatly wrapped into it. It’s a romance story for goodness sake, it’s what I live for I’ve realized. At the same time I had to interrupt, “Life goes like that though, doesn’t it? We win some, lose some, some terrible loses, but we have tomorrow.”
“You’re right, couldn’t agree more, but that’s only when life works perfectly. You see man, about a month ago I got this letter, it was from the girl that dumped me. While it wasn’t a “I miss you, I’m sorry for my mistake”, it was still a letter wishing me luck with life, and hoping all is well, and a small apology for breaking my heart. That’s strange in my book. I’m not sure how to handle that. Here is where I’m running into this problem. The woman I’m with right now…amazing. She’s a complete nut in the cutest way possible, and she warned me over and over that she has moments when she wants to just be alone. She comes with a lot of extra baggage, a lot. There have even been problems between us. Lately she’s been under quite a bit of stress with her job, because of that she has a tendency to close up a bit. It’s hard because I want to smother her with kindness, telling her that she’s great, etc…but I know I need to hold back. So I’m holding back from her at the moment, just letting her regain her footing in life. To add to that I’m terrified to write back to that other girl.”
“Why? Wasn’t she just trying to be kind?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m sure she was. I really like the girl I’m with, for some reason I really enjoy her, constantly. I’m so scared that if I engage in this other girl that something will trigger in me, not her, I’m sure she hasn’t over thought this one bit, but a trigger in me to where I will think, ‘perhaps she’s sending me a message that really she misses me’. I don’t want that dude, I want to be happy with my life at the moment and not stressed about that.”
“Hmmm…you know, we, males, run solely off emotions. So when there are two women in our lives that are pulling us in different directions, yeah it can get stressful. Tell me man, where are your priorities? Why are you even worried about the girl from the past, she’s just that, from the past? “
“I’m scared of making mistakes, I’m scared of screwing something wonderful up. I know my girlfriend is worried about this letter, even though she says otherwise, you can see it in her eyes.”
“Does she have reason to worry?”
“NO! Not at all. I was with that other girl for quite some time. It was great, I learned many things, I even relaxed in life. It obviously wasn’t it though. I thought that perhaps we just needed time apart, but you know…it was more then that, we weren’t it. Man, remember this, when you’ve been with someone for that long, it takes a long time to heal from all of the scars. I’m still healing. With that said though, there is a girl at work right now. Striving to make something of herself. Working hard, she may not enjoy it, but she works hard. And you know what? She likes me, for me, she knows I’m screwed up, she understands that, she accepts that. She’s like the perfect blend of a best friend, and someone to love. I know she doesn’t always believe it, but I’m going to continue to tell her till the day I die, she…is…worth…it…all. She’s worth the silence, the self-discipline, she’s worth the work. I want to work for it. I want to work for her. She needs to be shown that for a change in her life, there is a person who thinks she’s amazing, and even though life isn’t peachy, he is not going to leave her.”
I’ve come to understand that words only mean so much, and I wish that those reading this, could of seen his eyes. They were full of life, you know, that father who sees his sons coach making fun of him, or not playing him, you know that look in the eye? That’s what this man had. I can tell you hands down that if he had to, he’d lay down his life for the girl, in the most extreme circumstances, but that is how much he cared. After listening, I replied, “Dude, you love this girl. I don’t know you, but saying your words are true, you having an undying love for this girl. She knows it, don’t worry. If you love her, which I believe you do, just let the heart be patient, and by all means, feel free to pray.”
“[Insert Name], your order is ready!” The lady cried over the intercom to break the silence.
“I’ll let you get to your lunch sir, thanks for listening, and the input. I’m going to remember that.”
“Have a good day, as I shook his hand walking to the counter for my sandwich.”
“That”, I thought to myself, “is drama, having to come face to face with your own emotions, and trying to figure out what do. It was obvious that this man had made the mistake of allowing his past get the best of him. However, with that said, there is nothing more comforting then to see how much people can love one another. I wish him luck, who knows where his life will take him.”
How far will you go? How far would I go? What would you do if faced with that dilemma? Is that drama, or just a bad run with cards? Better yet, was the story even real?
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