I...AM...TIRED...

I've spent a while here and there, talking of others, talking of love, hope, and other things that you cannot put a finger on, or actually feel. I guess that's the personality of I, the writer.



However...



After giving it some thought, I'm going to talk a bit about myself. No stories, examples, or ideas, just straight hard truths.



I've been back at my childhood home for the summer, my last one here, ever. Kind of hard to believe actually.



This is what I want to say tonight...



I guess I'm what you call a "anger Christian". Allow me to go into a bit of detail. Allow me to show you a glimpse of myself. I don't put up with fluff, I don't put up with emotions or how people feel. I can't stand the "Thursday night" experiences that so many have each summer at their own camps. I can't stand seeing good friends on Sunday with their bottles of water, and learn that they are dealing booze to minors. Don't worry, they made it to church on time. I'm tired of people looking at me and saying, "don't you judge me, God says not to."



I'm not judging people...



I'm inspecting fruit and let me tell you about this years harvest...



It's sad.



Sure the missionaries may be in other countries, giving water, both physically and spiritually, but this land, home, is drying up. This has nothing to do with politics as I for one attempt to avoid. I saw a boy nearly in tears tonight because he was helping with vacation bible school, but the older "youth" boys were making fun of him, telling him he was a failure and lazy and did no work (mind you when a lady of the church asked those same boys to clean a table after dinner, they all refused).



When did this happen? When did it all become that I am a "angry Christian"? It's always been there, but it's been hiding. I've been so wrapped up in school, dreams, girls and such that I've covered it up. Now that I know of the people I live around and the standards that they SHOULD be lifted to, but are not because it requires "work", the games are over.



On the same page though...



I'm tired of "Christians" knowing SO MUCH MORE THEN OTHERS (when in reality sake they have no idea).



CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS, GET THIS THROUGH YOUR SKULL. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT POLITICS...DO THE RESEARCH BEFORE YOU POINT FINGERS (let it be known that my degree in political science will be done in January).



Christians...stop sticking together like robots in iRobot, and scatter like roaches when exposed to the "world". Stop killing your wounded, stop asking people to leave their leadership positions because they got a tatoo. Those with tatoos, don't be stumbling blocks.



The Body of Christ, get this through your head, stop worrying about yourselves so much and worry about the dead and dying outside your doors, flower potted soils, and old church bells.

People ask me everyday it seems, "Why are you so intent on moving to Colorado?"

My answer:
A. If I stay close to home the stressors of home, the problems I don't want to be part of, the pain that doesn't belong in my life, will come back and my life will go down the drain pouring everything I have trying to save one town.
B. If I stay close to where I go to school, the hypocracy, the apathetic crowds, all of it, will spiritually kill me...I'm tired, just tired. Tired of fighting constantly just to keep my faith.
C. I'm moving next May to get away, start over, I'm tired of having to keep track of people and their problems and having directly affect my life, and keep me from persuing my dreams.

I've made a lot of people upset from this message, blog, whatever. I'm sure of that. News flash! I don't care, I've been played, used, abused, kicked around, and taken advantage of. I'm done with it. I've been there for everyone all the time, for whatever it was they needed. People have not been there for me...period.

All of you, you needy, whiney, people. You're on your own until you grow up and learn to take responsibility and take care of yourself. Those who are breaking the law and in turn affecting my life, you will be found and you will be taken care of by the law, mark my words.