Musical Dreams

"It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there's something about us I want to say
Cause there's something between us anyway
I might not be the right one
It might not be the right time
But there's something about us I've got to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you
I need you more than anything in my life
I want you more than anything in my life
I'll miss you more than anyone in my life
I love you more than anyone in my life"
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Not really the best poem/lyrics I've ever heard (no those are not my own), yet I read them and the meaning of them are so comforting. I find myself sitting in my chair at night, drinking tea and thinking no more about the past, but more into the future. I see myself in my Tech for Education class (Monday night 430-700) talking to this girl. I look at it, as it slowly and surely turns into a friendship, throughout time as it gets dark at night I walk with this girl to her dorm, to be kind, to show safety, security, and some company. I talk to her, asking her about her life, what she enjoys, the stories of who she is. I only get to do this every Monday because of fear of seeing her too much throughout the week. I stay out of Mellers because she is there, I stand on one side of the court because she is on the other side. I don't talk to her online, facebook, nothing, I just see her and talk on Mondays, and at night I sit back dreaming of more. She continues to laugh in our little class, every so often our eyes meet. A strange sensation comes over me, my friends tell me to not give up, to fight for what is right, what is truth. Each night I desire to say more, yet I remember my actions and words of the past and why I'm in this mess to begin with.Finally a spring night, walking back from class on a Monday, we were talking and laughing, and we stopped outside her dorm as she goes in. She looks at me and begins to walk away, and I hear the voice in my head, "Are you going to lose her again?" And I grab her, which is strange for me to do, I'm not a person big into "touch", but I grab her and bring her close to me. I wrap around her with my arms and hold her close and whisper into her ear, "I need you more than anything in my life. I want you more than anything in my life. I'll miss you more than anyone in my life. I love you more than anyone in my life." And in the moment of silence I kick myself in my head for saying too much, yet she doesn't release, and in the stillness of the night she whispers through a broken voice, "I need you more than anything in my life. I want you more than anything in my life. I'll miss you more than anyone in my life. I love you more than anyone in my life."I look her in the eyes and say, "I'm sorry for my actions of the past, however, I cannot make it without you. I'm not strong enough." Through her voice I hear, "I thought I lost you forever."And in a flash I find myself sitting in my chair, with a hot cup of tea, thinking and waiting, hoping and praying for that warm spring evening to come around.