It's been a while since I last was on here to do some thinking and writing, and more writing then thinking because thinking in turn does not produce a lot of writing.
Did you get that?
I'm home for the summer. My last final was Friday at 10:30 am, I think I flunked it and then some, I might be having to take it over...oops.
I was offered a job as a teacher at the United States Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama....I declined the offer.
I will be working at the daycare in Gower, give it up for little kids! Little kids for the win!
I will also be hoping to land a morning job elsewhere (Subway anyone?).
I will be taking college classes (6 hours) during the summer.
I will be getting certified to teach in the secondary school system in the state of Missouri (that's high school).
I will be doing some mission work in tornado stricken areas of southwest Missouri.
I will be assisting in leading a week long camp at the end of July in the middle of nowhere.
I will be working on soccer footskills and conditioning for next spring.
I will be turning 21, enough said there.
Those are my "wills" for the summer.
Most nights that I find myself on this blog, spreading my thoughts and observations I tend to note them from other people around me, or the people in my head (that sounds strange now, doesn't it?).
For the sake of tonight, because it is the end of the semester and my brain is nearly fried, I'm going to tell you a story of a boy, and yes...this does involve romance.
It's 1:35 am, I should so be in bed...
Sorry, I'm being sidetracked by my ADD this evening, also known as Starbucks (no that was not a paid advertisement...should of been though).
I recall as a kid how important it was to have scars. If you had a scar, man, you were the coolest, strongest kid around, no doubt. I never had scars, I didn't fall off my bike, I didn't get bit by dogs, I never had a reason to have a scar. I felt so isolated, so alone, everyone made fun of me because I had no scars and that obviously meant that I was...*gulp...a wuss. Everyday I would walk into school and two boys would be sitting there in their desks and one would exclaim, "Hey dude (remember we were fresh out of the 1980's), show me your scars and I'll show you mine" and they'd compare and tell their heroic stories of saving this person and that person, but staying away from the cooties. I never had stories, I tried to make some up, about how I lost my arm and I have a metal arm now (Terminator movies, anyone? Remember, 1990's...), and they kids would laugh at me because I was a pathetic liar...
Elementary school was rough...later in life was worse...
In high school the scars changed from physical scars to emotional scars, more so, or at least openly so with the girls. Each day it would seem as if a new drama would be unfolding...and it was heartbreaking to hear. He "loved her", she believed him, the next day a giant scar the length of her heart was showing through her eyes. It never stopped in high school, that was the game they played...I praise God that I had no scars from high school.
The college scars were the ones you were told to avoid, those were the ones that would last with you forever. I had been warned for years, but dang it! I wanted a scar! I got one, I got one right across the heart, pierced through and everything. I honestly thought I was going to bleed to death...however, I lived for another day....
That day finally came I must say...the scars had made me a "warrior", a fighter, one who avoided those things deemed "kind". I was looking for fight, and I had found one...the individual was speaking about "losing all the time", in my mind she had no idea what "losing" was all about..."My scars will show her", were my thoughts.
I engaged the individual, putting her on the spot. A verbal argument broke out, back and forth, and by the end it all came down to a simple dialog:
"You show me your scars and I'll show you mine, then you'll see how much of a better life you have..."
If only I had thought before I spoke...
This will be picked up tomorrow evening...for the sake of the fact that it's 2:00 AM IN THE MORNING!
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