Before going on with this story...allow me to say this:
I am happily engaged to the love of my life, she is perfect in every way. That is worth saying over and over...however, with time ticking by and life passing us by allow us to continue down the page, and through the past, asking, "what if", humoring the future of the unknown and the dimensions that will never come within our reaches.......
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The moment was right, the time had come, she looked at me across the court. Obviously I turned to the sides wondering who exactly she was looking at. I slowly came to realize that there on the bench I sat...alone.
My mother, a woman of unknown widsom looked and me and said, "Trust me, this is a mothers instinct, that young lady likes you. You should go visit her."
Thinking that times had changed, and those of the opposite sex would no longer flee from me, I took my chances and started to walk over to where she sat.
As I started my journey, a few peers of mine stepped inbetween us and asked, "What are you doing?" After explaining my theory, and my hopes, they said, "She's from a good school, at least she is not white trash", and they went on their way.
My knees began to shake as I struggled to find the message in my brain to send my vocal box. I moved closer, still no words, and then out of no where.
"Hi! I'm Shawn!", I nearly yelled in front of the poor girl. Her friends giggled to themselves as she slightly blushed.
"Hi, my name is Rachel", the girl said quietly. She stood to shook my hand. It was quite the sight, there I stood at age 16, 6'4, and there she stood, age 15, 6'2. She was tall, slender, and sweet as my mothers apple pie. As our hands interlocked, a spark was felt in my heart, as her eyes gazed into mine.
"I have no idea why I'm over here...", were the next words that were muttered from my awkward adolesent mouth.
"You came to greet us." She responded, laughing to herself.
"It was a pleasure.", I said and started my way back down towards my team.
A few days would pass by, we had met at a holiday basketball tournament in the closest city to our small towns. Her team, as my own, made it to the championship game, and that Saturday I got to see her again.
"Good luck today", I managed to get out of my mouth, I had rehearsed it several times before getting off the bus.
"Thanks!", she said and trotted off, ponytail waving with each step she took.
Understand though, there was a significant difference between her and myself: she played basketball, I sat the bench during basketball.
Her team would go on to win the tournament, as our would also that night.
A few weeks later I took the dare of my life...
Our schools were the same size, and we were in the same "conference" of schools that enjoyed beating the tar our of each other. It was her schools turn to come over and play my school. After the games, (come on I was awe-struck by her, I didn't pay attention to the outcome), I went up to her as she started to board the bus.
"Hey, great game. Listen...I was wondering...eh...we've got a dance coming up here in a few weeks. I'm not in the need of a date, but I would like some company, would you be interested in enjoying a entertaining evening back here, just without court clothes on?"
The poor girl just stood there...standing...thinking...looking at friends for answers...and finally.
"Yeah, ok, got your cell phone? Here's my number. Call me about details.", and that was it.
A few weeks passed and the date came, she walked up the house, looking very "trendy", and ready for a good evening.
We went to the dance, and that's where I started to note certain things.
She enjoyed dancing, just not the slow dancing, it was almost as if she was designed for a club. I should seen this, and thought, "Ok, maybe I should think this out." Oh but I was in the moment! It was love! Surely she was the one! I attempted to dance with her, and failed, I'm just...not dancing material.
The night came to an end and as I walked her to her car she said, "I had a lot of fun tonight, thanks for inviting me." And with that she kissed my cheek and headed off.
If there is one thing to learn from this, when a kiss takes place in high school, no high school boy is able to resist the temptation of what lies ahead. Some of us got to learn that the hard way.
We began officially dating a month later, she turned 16 and was "up for parole" from her parents, she said. Her family was sweet, nice people, and I thought the world of them.
We would talk for hours there, about the world, sports, politics, and dreams for hours at a time.
Rachel and I though, we talked about life, but the one subject we never talked about was faith.
God wasn't a hot topic with her, as He was with me, it was part of my nature, part of my identity. Not so much with her, but at age 16...I'm greater then St. Patrick, I can convert anyone.
Remember how you learned in First Aid class that a panicking individual who is drowning can drown a full grown man? Faith is no different, we attempt to brings those who have gone astray closer, but we find ourselves drifting away in the process.
We had been dating for three months, she invited me to my first party. I was...excited, I got to hang out with people, drink beer! Be a rebel, and dance and who knows what else...
I got there, it was ok, people were strung out everywhere, just trashed. Drunk people inside the two story brick house, outside in the yard, "attempting" to swim in the pool. The house had a strong odor of...yeast (as you can tell, I was never a party person, family didn't drink, etc...), Rachel was having a blast, running around, beer in one hand, other hand in mine, showing me this person, and that person.
"This is Troy, that is Mike, that's Rebecca and Sarah, don't look to close at them, their boyfriends are over there playing beer pong."
The music was loud, the bodies were sweaty, and I...I felt out of place. I made my way to the door, and stepped out.
"Where are you going?", Rachel asked.
"I'm just getting some air, it's hot in there, loud, just not used to it."
"You need a drink Shawn. Here.", and she handed me my first beer.
It was awful to even try to drink. I instantly spit it up.
"It's ok, it takes a few before you get used to it.", said Rachel inbetween laughs.
I was not...NOT going to be outdone by a girl, so I sucked it up and just went at it, tearing through every can I got ahold of.
One down...two down...three down...my stomach feels hot...four down...
I made it to six before things started to change. Rachel guided me to my car, "Ok, you're fine, you just need to go sleep it off, you'll be fine, just go home and rest. You're awesome." She kissed me and shut the door.
In my car, part of me had no idea what was going on, part of me thought, "I can do this", I think about every other 16 year old who thought, "I can do this", when I drive past a memorial cross on the side of the road....
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